Fixated

It is a fact that citizens of at least two third-world countries, do not depend solely on paper or other synthetically manufactured products in complying with the sanitary requirements of the bottom (i.e. butt, ass, behind, junk in the trunk etc). They might not be able to afford a forest equivalent of toilet paper supplies but they manage without. Call them poor or impoverished but in these backward states, people perform ablutions of the bottom after every "noble deed." With soap and water. Something that I am beginning to suspect is unheard of in these parts.

Water impurity or lack of it does not deter these impoverished citizens from depending on water for support in bottom after-care and from living a self-imposed independence from toilet papers. A compelling evidence to this assertion is that a pail or variations of it is considered a standard fixture in their bathrooms. The more progressive ones have fitted their toilets with a jet-spray, from which one's bottom can enjoy direct water hit, rendering the pail unnecessary. The even more elite installed toilets that came equipped with the jet-spray.

Another such proof can be found in their bathroom accessories department. Wander down these aisles and without fail, one will find an array of multicolored pails in all shapes and sizes. Adjacent aisles feature shower heads not only for the typical shower but also for the jet-sprays I have mentioned above.

In comparison, even an inspired search for pails of this purpose, or even jet-sprays, in the retail stores in this country, from a behemoth chain to a localized one, yield unfortunate results and several unsavory inferences of the general hygiene of this country. One of which is that, people, after several swipes with the toilet paper, wash their bottoms while perched on the bathtub thereby eliminating the need for any water pails. However, this leads to several more unsavory inferences and more mystery: bathtub as repository of "particles" which are the by-product of the official toilet business? and what about those homes without a bathtub and are equally bereft of pails?

Perhaps, because these pails are rather unsightly and as a matter of utility rarely go well with the established decor, people here are wont on hiding these essential bathroom tools whenever they have guest/s. As such, since my sample size was mostly derived from bathrooms I have visited as a guest, if this were true, explains a lot. However, I am rather sure this is not the case.

It can also be true that after toilet paper swiping, the official business is wrapped up. In which case, euggh. I know that facial tissues are now equipped with aloe and similar nonsense so as not to hurt the nose when one is infected with a cold. However, I have not come upon a toilet paper product which is lined with soap and water that in using it alone is enough to meet the sanitary challenges of an official bathroom business. There are these innovative wet wipes which closely meet this function but still not quite. Besides, these wipes evolved from the wipes used on the bottoms of babies. And, babies' bottoms need wiping because they cannot wash their own bottoms, yet. What is the official adult excuse?

I do not know when this questionable practice started but I hope it be displaced soon enough. I do not want to imagine what all sorts of hygienic regimens will soon be substituted by toilet paper swiping. Taking a bath? Washing er wiping the face?

It is not an entirely hopeless case. It is not like the people here are afraid of the water. They do find hand-washing important, which in itself is a positive start. There is even a federal law which requires business owners to post notices reminding employees to wash hands prior to handling food. Is it too much to ask to include bottom-washing as well?

The next time you snootily raise your nose in the air upon hearing the filthy and backward practices of citizen X of poor country Y, they might be inclined to snootily raise their bottoms in the air in retort. Considering the above, there is just no winning argument against that.