Girls just *don't* want to have fun

Yep. Most of the time they just want to whine. Take a look at this blog for example. But because I have come to terms with this genetic inclination, I find it easier to have some sort of a relationship with boys than with girls. Unless the girl in question is like a boy (not necessarily a lesbian) then she's the exception that proves the rule.

One problem with having a girl friend (not to be confused with a homosexual) is that they are too sensitive. I revel in being nasty and in spewing thoughtless remarks so I cannot possibly have a girl friend who can tolerate my abuses. Boys on the other hand do not take it personally. Tell them they are fat and it will not bother them (the guys I know at least). The best part is, because they are aware how girls do not take being called fat favorably, they often refrain from regurgitating the same bullet. So you can make fun of their paunch and they will not make a snarky remark about your waist line.

Another issue is that they do not condone dictatorship with another female. After years of male domination, most women are all about equality, except for when it comes to their own male partners. Often, they will tolerate men domination but never by another woman. Gender equality is all about being equal among all women. And that's a problem because I have a mild-case of bossiness. I sometimes like to have things done in a specific way (which is my way, by the way) because I am just more important. If the friend is not willing and able, then constant bickering will be the main feature of the relationship dynamics.

And then there is the whole beauty regimen and superficiality culture. I respect women who find time to do the whole beauty ritual. From make-up, moisturizing, manicure, pedicure, to waxing, shaving, threading and the whole gamut of beauty 101. I often wondered how these women keep up with it. They look perfect, nary a hair out of place. I tried , but I have long ago accepted that my patience can only accommodate three of the above which sadly, did not include make-up, manicure, pedicure, well most of it. So confronted with a woman harassed with these matters, I cannot relate. I do not shop for make-up, manicure/pedicure does not excite me and I do not need to wax/shave given that I was born mostly hairless.

Sometimes I try to get excited by these things, just to play up to the stereotype. But the farthest I got was to get excited by the prospect of a $150+ haircut in the city and have a dramatic update on my look. The possibility of that happening seems dim now, considering the pecuniary imprudence involved.

But being a girl, I still like to shop. I can justify a $1,600 purse and consider a Marc Jacobs marked down dress of $316 a delicious bargain. Of course I can be superficial. But shopping for me is not a group activity. I do not enjoy shopping with a woman, actually with anyone; I have the most fun doing it by myself. So there goes the hallowed bonding experience between 2 women.

PMS might be the winning argument, though. I cannot stand being hormone-induced snapped at, regardless of the time of the month. I can take ridicule and censure when I deserve it. But when I do not then I just implode. Heck, I cannot even stand myself when I am swinging from one end of the pole to another, equal parts weepy, equal parts snappy, so I sure will not tolerate anybody else's.

The only times I get along well with girls are when they behave atypically and act more like boys. They are not overly sensitive, they are nasty so they can take nastiness themselves and what's more, they understand that female urge to boss people around.

I did not realize that my post was shaping up to be some sort of an obituary, but cheers to these 6 remarkable women I have known. I hope to god you are not a dying breed.